My Altar Stands

My altar stands
Directly in front
Of me.
I kneel…
Feel wool harsh
Beneath bare knees.
...I k-neel…
...Feel wool harsh
...Beneath bare k-nees.
...I k-notice Ks
...Like Bill K-near:
...He too
...Is silent k-now.

I take up sandlewood beads,
Still pungent after
All these years…
Rub them together
Between prayerful palms…
...As I've been admonished
...K-not ever to do.
The sound comforts
And focusses
Mind to heart
And back again.
Slow intake of breath, now.
Steadies.
Makes foundation
For what's to come.

Finally…
With eyes searching…
Finding,
Pin-point in heart
I chant.
And chant and chant.

At first
There is intention.
Then only chanting.
...Again, I k-notice
...Bill's Kin-ear.
...EAR.
The SOUND of chanting
Becomes link to
Wayward thoughts
And returns
Me to myself.

Other links vie
Like forks in roads.
The many giving way
To the chosen…
Obvious in tone
And time.
...Time beckons.
...Chants want haste.
I rub beads again…
Let sound gently
Waft me back to
Vibration of chanting
In my chest.
Breath remains constant,
Deep.
Flow of chant
Belies movement
Within my soul.
I chant and chant
More.
Confidence
Envelops.
...Confidence…
...Confidence.
...ConfidencES
...Told and guarded
...Give credence
...To trust-
...Worthiness.
Here lies truth
For the taking.

Bette
Toronto
2003